| In-Between |

I'm the very definition of Type A. It's in my blood. The very fiber of my being. Not sure what all that encompasses exactly... but I do know that it takes more discipline for me to rest than it does to work hard. And I've always thought that was a positive trait of mine. I am a "Workman" after all.

But I don't think it's completely beneficial. Actually, I know it's not. You know it's a problem when you moved to college and your parents called you... just to make sure you were having fun. Yes, you read that correctly. My parents have never once asked if I have completed all my tasks. That's just a no-brainer. They called to make sure I left the library every now and then.

But what happens when you are forced to start spinning one too many plates? Or when you're forced to stand in the midst of an awkward season and have no idea when that season will end? Like living in your parents' basement at age 23 (which I completely understand is normal in this day in age... just not my preference!) and there is no light at the end of the tunnel... or at least, that's how it seems.

Type A can't really fix things like that. I mean, technically, yes. I understand that I'm fully capable of moving out and moving on. But for some reason, as of this exact moment, it's just not time.

I have found myself (once again) in the midst of the vast In-Between. I'm just gonna be honest. I don't like being caught in the In-Between. It's not fun. It complicates my plans and ruins what I think is best for my life.

But the truth is... I don't know what's best for my life.

The "secret" is out. I have NO IDEA.

I thought maybe entering my 20s would shed some light on how to escape this uncomfortably awkward world of In-Between... but it just became more awkward. Really didn't think that was possible. Type A! You're failing me! Big time.

But let's be real. You can be Type Q, R, or S and still find yourself caught in the Battle of In-Between.

Ecclesiastes says that "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1, ESV).

So it's inevitable. At some point in life, whether we've experienced it yet or not, we will find ourselves stuck between Point A and Point B.

But what if we aren't really stuck?

What if the very purpose of the In-Between is to better prepare us for Point B?

"Well, since you say it that way..." you might be thinking. Hear me out.

First, let me be real.

I'm great at waiting... when it comes to waiting in the grocery line. Or waiting for a package to arrive. Or waiting for Christmas. Or waiting for my birthday.

What I struggle with... is living in this place called In-Between. I'm not so great at that. And for the 23 years I've been blessed to breathe, I've spent much time in this place.

And as I've thought extensively about this place in which I seem to always be, I couldn't help but reflect on Hebrews 11. Talk about people who lived the In-Between. Their whole lives were spent there!

And then it hits me.

Maybe the entirety of our lives will be spent there too.

That's a 2x4 to the face, isn't it?

What if Point B doesn't exist on this side of Heaven? 

I'm starting to realize that it doesn't.

"The Hall of Faith" (Hebrews 11) expounds on this thought. I'll show you what I mean...

"By faith, Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God." (Hebrews 11:8-10, ESV)

"These all (Abraham and others) died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared them for a city." (Hebrews 11:13-16, ESV).

"And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect." (Hebrews 11:39-40, ESV).

[In order to get the full picture of the power of these verses, I encourage you to check out the whole chapter of Hebrews 11.] 

It's obvious that part of our journey as followers of Jesus is learning to steward the In-Between. Because until we see Jesus face to face, we won't reach Point B. The Ultimate Point B, I should say. We will reach many Point Bs throughout our lifetimes. I will eventually find myself moving out of my parents' basement. I will survive graduate school. And praise God for those little Point Bs along the way!

So I've come to find... the In-Between isn't a season of earthly terms. It isn't like Spring, Summer, Fall, or Winter.

The In-Between lasts until we take our final breath.

Only then will we breathe in Point B.

So the question becomes: What do we do with the In-Between?

We breathe it in deep. We soak it in for all it's worth. We make the most of the time God has given us between Point A and Point B.

Because In-Between is getting us ready for the Ultimate Destination.

I think most of the battle is just accepting the fact that our In-Betweens don't look the same.

But that's ok.

Because someday, we will share in the Ultimate Joy of Point B...

Together.

And realize that the In-Between was a treasure... all along.

under PRESSURE.

It's interesting to me how the application of pressure to any simple entity can completely transform that object. The degree of which an object changes form as a result of applied pressure provides a lucid demonstration of that object's strength or malleability. For example, if a car crosses paths with a banana, the car will obviously win that face-off. It will splatter that soft source of potassium into oblivion. But if a grand piano fell from the sky, that car would greatly resemble the banana.

Following me?

Well, I sit here PRAISING GOD that it's August 1. July 2013 was a bear of a month for me. Amongst studying for my graduate school entrance exam, working full time, financial decisions, and other changes, I feel like I've been running a marathon. Really, my life has been extra crazy since the beginning of April but for some reason, July just brought the pressure and turned up the heat (both literally and figuratively).

July made me feel like that unfortunate banana lying in the path of that overbearing car. And it hurt. Big time. There were moments that I felt the pressure like never before in my short 23 years of life. And if I'm being real, panic attacks were even a part of that picture. And the thing is, I knew the truth. I knew that God has been faithful to me in MIGHTY ways. In ways that have left me speechless. The past 5 years of my life scream of His sovereignty and faithfulness. So honestly, the magnitude of which I struggled this past month made me angry.

Some people are great under pressure. In fact, some shine in the midst of pressure. I am not sure I would place myself in that category. Actually, I know that I wouldn't. My brain needs time to think and process. Sudden pressure does NOT go over well with me. Just isn't my strong suite. But give me all the time in the world to prepare, and I'm set.

That's the problem.

Life doesn't give you time to prepare. It comes at you like a 90mph fast ball.

I've learned a LOT from that fast ball the past few months.

Which leads me back to that banana. It doesn't take long at all for one to recognize that a banana is not at all obdurate when it meets that car tire. In fact, it splatters everywhere. That pressure reveals what that banana is made of in an instant.

Life is the same way. One day while washing dishes for a good 3 hours at work (where most of my writing inspiration was gathered), it hit me. The marathon I was thrown into was revealing that of which I am made. I was seeing who I am at the very core of my being.

Wow. Talk about a wake up call.

More importantly, I was being provided with a harsh reality of what it is I truly believe about my God and His character. I'm good to go until that car approaches and I'm lying helpless in the wake of it's magnitude.

The pressure was forcing my insides... out.

It's easy to trust Jesus when I can see that my path is clear and without obstacles.

But those moments that shine light on that which lies within us... that prove what we believe to be true in the midst of the storm... Those are the moments that sincerely display what or in whom our trust lies.

And despite the fact we are often greatly unprepared for those moments, those are the moments that matter most.

Looking back over this past month especially, I can easily see the pieces of my heart that struggle to trust Jesus. The parts that, when under pressure, don't exemplify what I know to be true of my God. But you know what? I'm not sure I would have seen those parts of my heart unless it had been broken this past month... over and over again.

So I can reflect and thank God for bringing that "car" my way. After all, I know Him better now. But most importantly, I know that whether I'm crushed or whole, He is the SAME yesterday, today, and for all eternity (Hebrews 13:8, ESV).

Who are you... rather, to Whom do you cling... under pressure?

__FOUNDATIONS__

Ok, so I have a confession to make.

I've never built a sandcastle.

... Ever.

And I've been to the beach... several times.

Some may say that my childhood was robbed. I could potentially agree with that. However, burying my younger brother in the sand seemed like a much better use of my precious time in the sun and surf. And I'm sure he had earned it in some way. But I buried him in love... of course.

I have, however, contemplated over the years as I've seen many attempt to make such structures in the sand. Yep. I was (and still am) that kid on the beach that sat quietly, watched the sea gulls, observed other kids, and thought about the logistics of the faulty designs constructed... that would surely just lead to each castle's demise when swept up with the next tide. An overly-analytical perfectionist of a child.

That was me.

So I guess it would've taken me too long to build a proper sandcastle anyway.

Foundations are kind of important. And by "kind of," I mean that they are irreplaceable. Most children (who know what it means to be imaginative at least) do not spend time considering the laws of physics or the importance of placing an appropriate foundation before building their fairytale-esque creations in the sand.

But then again, sand never made a strong foundation to begin with.

In Luke 6, Jesus talks a little bit about foundations... and how His words are to be the bedrock of our lives. He says,

"Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock..." [Luke 6: 46-48a]

Basically, Jesus is saying... His words cannot merely be an addition to our lives.

No. In fact, nothing can even be added without a foundation. A true Foundation.

"...And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built." [Luke 6:48b]

These words of Jesus are not simply a gentle request for us to make sure our lives are built on Him. He knows that the result of anything less than a foundation built on Him, the Only Rock, is pure devastation.

You see, just like at the beach, storms come in life. Sometimes without a warning. But even with fair caution and time to prepare, storms have the power to destroy much.

Jesus continues...

"But the one who hears [My words] and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great." [Luke 6:49]

If you told someone that you were going to build your house without a foundation, they would (if they had any sense at all) tell you that you were out of your mind. That it isn't possible.

And they would be right.

Because anything built will have a foundation... By default.

What that foundation consists of, is the question.

The Message paraphrases Luke 6 in an interesting way. I love the phraseology it uses... It refers to the words of Jesus as "foundation words, words to build a life on."

Just as you cannot skip the foundation when you are building a house... So it is with the Christian life!

I've heard the words of Jesus since I was... well, born actually. And what a blessing that is! But let me be honest with you. Merely hearing the words of Jesus does nothing.

Because the words of Jesus weren't meant solely for hearing. They were meant to be THE FOUNDATION of our lives!

And this Foundation must be BUILT.

Built.

That's the key word. An action verb, in fact.

It takes work. Effort. Blood. Sweat. And at times, tears.

This Foundation won't just spring up from the ground! Sometimes though, I think we, as followers of Christ, live like we think that is the case.

And it surely... is not.

We must be actively laying down the truth of Jesus' words... On a DAILY basis.

So that when the storms come... And they will come...

We stand STRONG.

Not because of our own strength.

But because, our Foundation is the Rock of Ages Himself.

And no storm can bring that Foundation to the ground.

limp [no more].

Have you ever landed wrongly? If you have, you'll get what I'm talking about. That sharp pain that immediately shoots through your whole leg? Yep, it's definitely not on my list of Top 5 most pleasant things.

But the thing is... That pain can result from not only landing wrongly, but also from standing up under pressure.

Life has its way of knocking you down. Knocking the wind out of you. Giving you a low blow.

And the thing I've come to find, is that it's the moments we least expect in which we experience that "shooting pain." It sure can catch you off guard. Maybe that's what is most painful about the whole thing. The lack of ability to prepare for the pain. For the heart ache. For the lack of mobility... at least temporarily.

Sometimes, we just have to get up and begin walking. Take that crazy risk. Jump off that "cliff" so to speak... Whatever that may look like.

It's almost as if we need to prove to ourselves that we don't have to limp any more. That we actually remember how to walk... Without that limp of which we've become so accustomed. And sometimes, even has become comfortable.

What better way than to stand up (despite the struggle that may result) and walk? Even if that means dreadfully stumbling with those first few steps?

There's such power in that.

Trust me, I've felt it before.

But it's not just a one-time thing.

Limping can become a way of life. It's like we forget how to walk freely... Much less, live fully.

We begin to think that we were made with a limp. To stumble through each day with - what can seem - to be a lack of purpose. Lack of identity. Lack of hope. But this could be no further from the truth!

NO! We WON'T limp our entire lives... Jesus makes the lame to WALK! With boldness. With gumption. With PURPOSE. He says "Get up and walk!" [Matthew 9:6] And you know what happens? We GET UP.

But don't miss this.

We have the strength to get up only because of and through HIS power.

And you know what else?

We get up...

Completely healed.

Because we were made to stand up. To walk. And even...

To run.

And eventually, the limping will be no more.

c|h|a|p|t|e|r|s.

I'm not an avid reader of fiction. My brother has always told me it's because "I have no imagination." Maybe that's partially true. Ok, so maybe it's very true. I struggle to picture a world that isn't reality. Books are "black and white" for a reason right? Literally. Well, that's my 2 cents.

Nevertheless, I'll give the fiction genre this prop - each chapter builds on the one before it.

I simply love that.

Although it seems as though a character has left the story, he or she is there nevertheless. The essence. The footprints. The impact. The story, where it is presently, cannot exist without the presence of that particular character at one point in time.

But this is what I hate. One chapter cannot begin without the ending of another. That's the part that breaks my heart. Shatters it actually... If I'm being completely honest.

There are just some characters that are meant to play a small role in the story. But this is not the case for every character. That gives me hope... Not to mention, gives me the desire to keep reading.

The best type of books (and the only type of fiction books I occasionally read) are those of which the ending is not predictable.

The story may seem never-ending. All hope may appear lost. But the greatest books are those of which you read the last page and are left in awe.

Sheer amazement.

Those books of which you can look back on prior chapters and see that the ending was really clear all along...

You just had to experience every page to see it.

Life is very much the same way.

I'm only 22. That sounds old to me. Yes, yes, I know. I'm not old. Technically, I'm still considered to be in that wonderful "young adult" category. But to be real, there are parts of my life I can't really recall clearly. Sure, some of that time forgotten was before my brain was fully developed and my capacity for memory was truly existent. Most of those times, however, are just simply a blur. Like my first day of junior high or my first date. You'd think I'd remember those moments... But nope, I don't. Don't ask me why. I guess I only remember the "important" things in life.

Although... The one thing I never forget (even if I try) are those "characters" that walk in... and sometimes out, of my life. Like I said, the characters make the story what it is. After all, you could argue that without additional characters, you have no story.

Because part of living your story is colliding with others along your way. Along your journey.

The impact waits in the collision. The thing about collisions is that they stick with you. Sometimes literally. Sore muscles, broken bones. But more often, these collisions result in overflowing hearts and freed minds.

The Author of the book called Life planned the contents of each page. Every event. Every character. Every struggle. Every victory. All culminating to the words on that last page... Whenever it may be written.

We may not be able to choose every character who enters our stories. If you haven't figured it out yet, you're not in control of your life. Sorry if I just let the "cat out of the bag" on that one. Better sooner rather than later, right? However. We can decide with whom we will collide. Those whom we will allow to become a "leading role" in our stories. Slowly but surely, chapter by chapter.

That's why it is never fulfilling to skip to the ending of a book.

Because the joy is in the journey.

You cannot experience the joy of the completion without truly and fully understanding the blood, sweat, and tears... and the love, life, and determination it took to get to that last page. Last paragraph. Last sentence. Last word.

There is no ending without first, a beginning.

Nor is there an ending without the middle.

The secret lies in embracing each and every chapter along the way.