I’ve always enjoyed watching the clouds. I love how my mind can shape and contort the billows of white into pretty much anything imaginable. It sure provided hours of endless entertainment for those seemingly endless hours in the car when I was younger. It wasn’t until recently, however, that the clouds began to portray a completely different picture for me.
This summer has not been normal. It’s been quite unlike all others that I have had thus far in my life. There were times when I thought high school summers were kind of lame. Afterall, we do live in Indiana. The center of the glorious Midwest. Ok…I was just kidding about the “glorious” part. Not too much to do. But looking back, I realize I had it pretty stinkin’ good. The thought of a full-time job would have made me chuckle…much less two. Our hardest days consisted of sleeping in, big bowls of cereal in front of the T.V., and late night hangouts…only to “party hard” til the wee hours of the morning and sleep in to do it all over again. Wow. Did we have it made or what?
I almost don’t recognize this town anymore. It’s as if the days that we felt painfully dragged on and on decided to go into hyper speed. The minute we realized we needed to be holding onto every moment we were given, they were gone. Just like that. It’s funny how time can do that to you. It sure is a villain.
I think I was under the false impression that change occurred progressively. Wrong. If I’ve learned anything this summer, it’s that. If anything, transition runs its course more quickly as I become older. Some days I feel as though I’m God’s favorite student. Man alive, He’s got some hard lesson plans mapped out for me. Some lessons are meant to take more time than others based on level of difficulty. The one I’ve never seemed to grasp is the fact that people come and go in life. I’ve got a pretty thick head…and that one just hasn’t gotten through yet.
In my mind, it makes no sense to relationally connect with someone only to later have those two paths go in completely separate directions. I mean, what the junk? Am I the only one who can’t seem to understand that? I don’t take relationships lightly nor do I allow myself to become extremely close to more than 4 or 5 people at once. I strive to pour all that I have into the relationships that I have. That is the only way that makes sense to me. It’s just natural. And until this past year, it always had worked the way I thought it should. The way I had planned. It’s funny how fourteen years can set you in such a lifestyle that the reality of life doesn’t even seem possible. This past year, I ran smack dab into reality. Without brakes. It was quite a collision…and it was not pleasant. It was a sight to see. It hurt…and it’s more real than I ever wanted it to be.
So this is where the clouds come in. Thanks for sticking with me. A few weeks ago, I was taking a walk just to get some uninterrupted time to listen to the Lord. It was a gorgeous day and the sky was bursting of sun and clouds. Big, fluffy, white clouds. My favorite kind…they work best when trying to find shapes. But this time I wasn’t paying attention to the shapes or figures lining the sky. This time I felt as though God spoke to my heart and asked me to simply watch how the clouds made their way across the sky. So I did. And then it hit me. The light finally came on in the dark part of my heart that I was trying to protect for so long. A cloud does not move through the sky without colliding with another cloud. And when it does…it’s not quite the same after doing so. It changes shape. It takes and gives…and sticks. All at the same time. Just like relationships. Finally, it was making sense.
You see, this journey called life takes us through flat fields, over tiring mountains, through luscious valleys and rivers, and dry deserts as well. And no two journeys are the same. Maybe very similar but not identical. That’s not how God designed it to be. Every individual has a purpose implanted on his or her heart by God the Creator himself. It’s because of this fact that life must change. Why people come and go from our lives. When I consider friendships that used to be very strong and are not today, my initial feeling is brokenness. It literally breaks my heart. But now I see why. Relationships allow us to live life with one another…and that means bits and pieces of our hearts are slowly and carefully given away. That’s how people change us. Because they give us a part of themselves…and take a bit of us as well. There are countless people no longer in my life that gave me so much. I would not be the person I am today without those God has blessed me with throughout the course of my life. The other “clouds” I’ve collided with. All of them in due time. Now I see there’s more to this picture. While I can only see the next “cloud” in front of me, God sees the entire horizon of my “sky.”
Isn’t the sky beautiful even when the clouds are constantly moving? I think the sky is prettiest when it’s full of clouds moving wherever the wind blows.
And although it doesn’t make sense to me when clouds shift, the sun disappears, or the sky is clear of clouds altogether…I know that my God, who controls the sky, sees just where I’m headed next.
And surprisingly, I’m slowly becoming okay with that.
So everyone, today’s life forecast…is cloudy with a chance of change.
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