Have you ever slammed on the brakes? There's not too many things that gets your attention as quickly and effectively as having to suddenly try your hardest to avoid becoming part of a giant pile up on the free way. But I've also noticed something else after briskly implementing the use of that very vital part of a vehicle. The speed at which I was once traveling becomes quite apparent. So often on the interstate I find myself wanting to go faster. Why is that? I'm already going 70+ mph. Isn't that fast enough? But after thinking about it for quite some time now, I'm discovering that it stems from a deeper issue...something programmed deep within my heart.
Dwelling is not an easy task. To dwell causes one to have to stop. To cease any and all courses of action. To stop analyzing, planning, running, hiding, and striving. Striving. Now there's a word that I have come to know quite well. Dwelling simply requires one to wait...and rest. Not strive. I think that's the hardest part...striving is second nature to me. Twenty years of practice has pretty much cemented that in this stubborn brain of mine.
But that's just it. The more I continue to seek the heart of my God, the more I recognize how wrong I've been for so long. God never asked me to strive. To put on a "I've got it all together" show. Who am I fooling anyway? Certainly not Him. Rather, He invites me to cease. That sort of leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Kind of like that cheap-o coffee you get at that last resort gas station (there's not too many things I despise more than that). But why? Why is it that the very thing I was truly made to do leaves me miserable, feeling like I've missed the mark? Maybe because my heart has majorly missed the true source of satisfaction. Not the kind of satisfaction that comes from the completion of a task (although I do very much enjoy that sensation). But the immense joy and peace that comes from the difficult, yet worthwhile recognition of my own incapability. That my life is not within my control. Ugh. A part of my Type A mentality dies every time I utter those painful yet freeing words...
As I was spending time with the Lord the other day, I turned to one of my favorite passages. As I began to read Psalm 27, I pleaded with the Lord to bring something new to light within the chapter, to teach me something fresh from His Word. Praise Jesus that He always, always, always answers that prayer with a resounding "Yes, I will!". But as I continued to read, I kept getting distracted...so it took a few times for me to get hit with a simple, yet mind-blowing truth from the life of David. David got it. The first couple verses relay the truth of the sovereignty and goodness of our God while also retelling the troubles (and current trials) of David's life. But then you get to verse 4. This is my favorite part. And that's when it hit me like a crisp, October breeze in Indiana. Even after all that David weathered in his life, he uncovered the secret.
[v.4] of Psalm 27 says: "One thing I ask of the LORD, THIS is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple."
Wow. David blows me away. He knew that life throws its fair share of junk at us. He didn't live under the illusion that this life is a walk in the park. He knew better than to be that naive. He certainly had the experiences to back that up. But David did know what to do in the midst of his storms...dwell.
My mind and heart are in constant combat. What my heart truly (and was created) to desire is the very thing my mind fights to believe...that surrender is stronger than striving. Surrender is freedom. Paradoxical? Most definitely. Yet, I am finding that it is the key.
OK, so back to the whole dwelling gig. David understood the secret within the storm. That to dwell was safer than to strive. That his (maybe innocent) strivings would only stir his storm even more so. But dwelling...that merely caused him to sit and rest in the midst of the storm. Crazy? To some...or most rather, yes. Absolutely. But this "madman" was referred (by God Himself) as "a man after God's own heart." So obviously, I've missed something quite important along the way...
David was a man of focus. He had a focus I envy. His gaze was fixed. Fixed not on his storm...but on His God. David could dwell peacefully in the midst of his chaos because he was so caught up in the beauty of His Lord. In the beauty that comes only from the realization that I am not in charge. That I don't measure up. That I will continue to (always) fall short. Now that sounds like borderline insanity. Maybe it is. But something comes alive in one's heart when he reads that and lets it sink in to the very depths of his soul. Did you feel it? That was your heart beginning to awaken to the truth that you were created...to dwell.
Sure, you can fight it. I surely have...and most days still do. But thanks to the grace of my Jesus, that's begun to change. And He is inviting you to the same paradigm shift. To throw off the performance-based striving. To simply bask in His radiance. His abundant and furious love...for you. Honestly, it is a painful thing to slam on the brakes. Ceasing to strive can result in some pretty powerful whiplash. But the view...much clearer now that you've stopped, is more than worth the temporary discomfort. It will blow your mind. Your God is beckoning you to dwell because He knows that it is in His presence alone that you are safe. That only there, will you truly be healed.
So what do you say? Care to join me for the view?
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