Dashboard Lights: The Heart of the Issue

April 27, 2009

My dad always told me that emotions are the like the dashboard lights of our hearts. Just like my engine light comes on when my car is having an issue, the emotions I experience are indicators of what is going on in this heart of mine. Sometimes I feel as though the dashboard of my heart is just lit up like none other. I'm talkin' Vegas lights here...brighter than most people care to see in one square mile. It's moments like these when I begin to wonder, when was the last time I went in for a check-up? 

College is a funny thing. There's something about taking a girl, uprooting her from her home, making her say goodbye to friends of over ten years...that just does a number on her. I must say that in August of last year, my dashboard lights were going nuts. Just plain insane. Flashing like you wouldn't believe. There was nothing, at least I felt at the time, that would ever make this heart of mine the same again. I felt totaled. Was there any way insurance could pay for a brand new heart to replace this battered, bruised, and scarred heart? I quickly found out that a trade-in was not an option.

Over this past year, I feel as though one word that could have described my experience during my freshman year is: perseverance. I honestly could not find a better word to use. I don't just mean perseverance in the academic sense...although that category would have taken a major portion of the cake. But no. I found that perseverance is so much more than just finishing a race I've begun. Because before any race was complete, there was a fight that took place to allow that completion to come to be...and a fight, I believe, is never just on one level.

Ok. Remember when I was talking about those dashboard lights? Well, here ya go. I, for one, would just like to be the first to say that I am THE QUEEN of losing perspective. So, for those of you competing for that title...I win. I like to think that God gave me more lights on my dashboard because He knows that I will most likely need an extra light flashing to finally catch my eye. It's like clock-work. I pretty much have learned the routine. This light will pop up when this happens or yep, that light is about due for a bright shine...I've got it down pat. Can I also take this brief opportunity to mention that I'm not a very good mechanic?

I love that the lights of a dashboard usually relate to the engine or some sort of auto part (I am not a car genius by any means) that determines whether our car runs very well or not. It's at times when I'm at the end of my rope, that I realize that I once again failed to notice some lights on my dashboard. Thankfully, when you're on E...your car lets you know...and if you have any brain in you at all, you take the time to fill up.

I praise the Lord for emotions. Yes, ladies, I'll just say it for all of us, they are quite annoying and inconvenient. But in my case, if I did not have them, I'd be a royal wreck. I would be fully and completely blind to what was going on around me as well as within my heart. And everybody knows that you gotta drive with your eyes open to get anywhere at all. I'm so amazingly talented at allowing myself to "drive blind." But here's another pretty cool thing. When our car is freaking out or not functioning properly, we take it back to the source. People who know how to fix, switch, fill, replace, and shine those parts that need special attention. I'm so glad I'm not my own auto-mechanic...because not only would my car crumble but I would literally fall apart.

I love the heart. Biologically speaking, it is the source of life. It pumps blood to every part of our body so that we may continue to breathe and live fully. But I think I love the symbolic nature of the heart most of all. For ages, the heart has been described as the very thing that allows us to love passionately, desire deeply, and fight, or persevere continuously. This amazing blessing can, however, be in tune with the Creator, or on a completely different wavelength altogether. God fashioned my very being, this very heart that yearns for Him and breaks for His people. He is the only One who is worthy and should be holding my heart in His hands. Because really, who is better fit for managing and fixing the dashboard lights? The driver or the Creator?

I guess that's what I'm trying to get at. It's no wonder that I am told to "Guard my heart, for it is the wellspring of life." I guess you could say, it's the heart of the issue.